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19 Lessons Learned From a Friend

1. Give money you can spare to someone who needs it and then pretend you never had it. 2. Let someone tell a story without feeling the need to one-up them or tell your own. 3. Let someone vent, even if you can’t offer a solution, just to be an ear—without considering how well they listened to you last week. 4. Help someone who is struggling with difficult feelings by admitting you’ve felt the same thing—without considering whether they’d be as open with you. 5. Ask, “What can I do to help you today?” Then let it go after following through. 6. Tell someone how you feel about them, even if it makes you feel vulnerable, just to let them know they’re loved and not alone. 7. Apologize when you’ve acted selfishly, even if you don’t like feeling wrong, because it will remind the other person they deserve to be treated with respect. 8. Let someone else ... Read Full Story >>

100 Acts Of First Grade Kindness

I teach first-grade children and the 100th day of our school year is approaching soon. This is a big math day with lots of activities centered around 100.     Last year I connected the 100th day to kindness and I have just kicked off the same project today with my current class.    We had been talking about Martin Luther King Jr and his dreams of peace and kindness. His birthday was approaching so we talked about acts of kindness we could do at home or in school, then I challenged the children to do 100 random acts of kindness from Doctor King's birthday until our 100th day of school.     The children were so excited to get started. Today was the official day to begin.   We finished the day with 10 acts of kindness recorded. Parents emailed with comments about how great the project idea was and shared how their child helped a new ... Read Full Story >>

There is Life in Just a Smile

It was only a sunny smile,

And little it cost in the giving,

But like morning light,

it scattered the night,

And made the day worth living.

-Unknown

Thank you for all of your smiles as they have made my days worth living. 

The Woman at the Picnic Table

My husband and I were having a conversation a few weeks ago about how life flies by quicker than you can imagine. This conversation was unexpected, but I really took it to heart. As we sat and spoke about how it seemed like yesterday was the first day we met. We soon came to the realization that god has blessed us with three healthy years of marriage, a home, college educations, established careers and a loyal furry friend. We also came to the harsh reality that time does not slow down for anyone. Later that day we were on our way to a family event and as we pulled into the local gas station I noticed a woman sitting all alone at a picnic table. It was around 80 degrees and she was dressed in a winter jacket and long pants. As we pulled away from the gas station, I told my ... Read Full Story >>

Two Sides of Wisdom

I was 16 years old, getting out of the train station with my father, and a woman came to him and said that her money had been stolen.  She asked if he could  lend her some money to go back home. My father gave her what she asked and told her not to worry about sending it back. I was shocked. How could my own father be so gullible? It was obvious to me that she was lying, staying in the station all day long to get the next patsy.  "She was lying!" I exclaimed. "Why did you give her anything at all?" My father looked at me and I could see he was a bit angry. "And what would you like me to do," he said, "Should I tell her that I am a college professor and I can see through her scam?" I did not understand him at all, so he told ... Read Full Story >>

Of Cats, Gardens, And Neighborly Peace-Making

Yesterday, my older neighbor who painstakingly cares for part of our garden was in for a shock. Apparently, my cat, Rocco, had left a turd in his perfect flower beds. Fortunately, I wasn't home when this happened, so he vented to my friend and neighbor, K. She was kind enough to listen to him and to go down into the garden with him to have a look. She even took a picture! When I got home, she had left a message on my answering machine about the incident. Hearing it was about my cat again, my stomach turned. The year before, he'd gotten so upset that he had threatened to put rat traps on the premises, hoping that would intimidate me into keeping my cats indoors. So, I was a little apprehensive. But I couldn't help but laugh when I heard K tell me what the whole fiasco was all about. I understand ... Read Full Story >>

Making Peace

Ever happened to have a stranger looking at you with eyes full of anger out of the blue? It was painful and confusing, but sure a great lesson. First thing that passed through my mind was that it must be a misunderstanding, such a look was not meant for me, but later I saw the old lady’s face changing every time she saw me, at least seven times, no more doubt that she was very angry with me. I was confused, shocked, and near anger, my brains were spinning, trying to figure out how’s and why’s but somehow managed to not show it on my face. Went home, slept a night over it and decided that I have to find a way to make peace with this lady. The very next day I bought some nice chocolate praying to see her again and when I caught sight of her, went straight to her ... Read Full Story >>

Kind Words That Touched a Young Mother

I was on the bus with two of my young children this morning. My daughter was chatting away to me.

When the bus came to its next stop an older lady was getting off. As she passed me, she smiled and said, "You're a good mum."  I thanked her and was a little bit embarassed.

Then, after she got off, tears came into my eyes. It meant so much to me because no one ever really says that -- probably most mum's don't hear that very much!  I'm really grateful to her for taking the time to say it.  Having said all that, I don't know what I was doing that made her want to say it!!

Change Of Heart

A mother and daughter living in my complex are two of the most unfriendly people I have ever come across in my life. They are totally withdrawn, mixing with no one. As they drive past neighbors they keep their eyes averted and make no sign of acknowledgement. The only fame they have is making a nuisance of themselves to the local police station by reporting music played too loud, dogs barking more than once a day and any other petty little gripe. On moving into this neighborhood, I was warned about these two but decided I would make up my own mind. This proved quite a challenge to me as more than once either the mother or the daughter would knock on my door and blast me with some complaint or other. My warfare? I always answered politely and made sure I waved as they went past my place and also made ... Read Full Story >>

Picking Up the Tab for Breakfast

After church this Sunday morning, my daughter and I went to a local restaurant for late breakfast.. An older woman was seated next to us at an adjoining booth. What drew my attention is that when she came in and seated herself , she walked straight toward us with a smile, as though she was going to sit with us and knew us, but then turned to her table and took a seat by herself. I thought to myself that I should have invited her to sit with us. When we were done with our food, my daughter and I left our booth (the woman was still seated at her table) and whispered to the waitress to put the woman's breakfast on our tab.   The waitress seemed surprised at what I was doing for a stranger. So I told her of a card I had received the previous day from a complete stranger, ... Read Full Story >>

Be the person you needed when you were young

There are so many acts of kindness that can be done daily and so many more we miss. I missed one the other day and really wish I'd acted upon it. It was only later in reflecting back on the day that I saw it.

Still it's ok. At the time I sent love and gave the girl my heart and prayers later that night. And that too is a kindness.

I was at my boys school sports carnival watching all the kids compete. When I noticed one race, and a young girl of about 8, coming last. She was overweight and was trailing so far behind that the others in the race had finished well before she crossed the line.

At the time my heart broke. I remember being that girl. Overweight and coming in last. How now I wish I'd said something. Told her how proud I was of her and encouraged her.

Still there will be a next time. And those times, those times will not pass by like this one. I will act on them 💗

My Nephew's Birthday Adventure In Paying It Forward

I want to say thanks to all of you for your special notes and ideas, after I sent my request for 'gifting acts of kindness ideas' for my nephew's birthday last month. I was excited to hear from some of you with suggestions. Pancho suggested that I give him my attention -- as the greatest gift one human being can give another -- yes! Nipun helped out by sharing his own story, and got me thinking further about how I could do a kindness tag, Idaho style. I gave that kid some super-duper hugs, not to mention every bit of attention I could muster, and a good dose of kindness stories, to boot. There is a long story with great sidenotes that goes with the birthday adventure story, but the short story is as follows: I gave my nephew twenty bucks for his birthday, with the condition that he use it to do something kind for someone ... Read Full Story >>

A Lesson In Receiving Graciously

I often walk from work (near Pier 39 in San Francisco) to the Embarcadero BART station, where I catch a train back to the East Bay. Several times, I passed a gentleman who I presumed was homeless.  He had a lot of his possessions tied down to his bike and held a cardboard sign that said he was a vet who doesn't drink or do drugs, but would appreciate anything that could be given.  He usually has headphones on and is listening to the radio. He is always minding his own business, often reading as well.  I've never seen him actively "panhandling." Several times, while I was passing him, I realized I had some food with me, so I turned around and offered him that food (most recently, a blueberry muffin).  He took off his headphones, and said "Umm, blueberry muffins are my favorite!" with a big smile and a gleam in his eye.  ... Read Full Story >>

It Was A Rainy Night In New Orleans

It was a rainy night in New Orleans At a bus station in the town, I watched a young girl weeping As her baggage was taken down. It seems she'd lost her ticket Changing buses in the night. She begged them not to leave her there With no sign of help in sight. The bus driver had a face of stone And his heart was surely the same. "Losing your ticket is like losing cash money," He said, and left her in the rain. Then an old Indian man stood up And blocked the driver's way And would not let him pass before He said what he had to say. "How can you leave that girl out there? Have you not had a moment of fear? You know she had a ticket. You can't just leave her here. You can't put her out in a city Where she doesn't have a friend. You will meet your schedule, But she might meet her end." The driver showed no sign That he'd heard or even cared About the ... Read Full Story >>

Crazy Sock Day To Pay it Forward

In our community, we are very blessed to have an organization called Food for Friends. They help provide funds for us to have a snack program for all the children in the school and lunch for those who need it. As a teacher, I can't tell you how grateful I am that our children are nourished so that they can concentrate on learning and not their hungry tummies.   The children are raising money for the organization as well right now. I think this is so important for them to learn to be appreciative for what they have. The children paid a dollar to enter a crazy sock competition. It was such a joyful and fun assembly. On Monday, we have to live free of something. I have stacked all of the chairs in the classroom, and we watched some videos from Save the Children to compare our room to other impoverished schools ... Read Full Story >>

Generosity That Goes Around Comes Around

The other day I noticed a young woman, very close to my own age, walking by the store front.  I thought she was a student at the local college, mainly due to the fact that she was carrying her books and supplies.  She stopped and looked through the window with a somewhat sad look on her face.  The next day, around the same time, she stopped by again, the same thing as the day previous. I came to the cafe this morning, after having made a comment of how cold it was outside.  The region experienced a drastic drop in temperature last night to around 27 degrees Fahrenheit.  I noticed the time was getting close to be around the same time as the previous two days when I had seen the young woman, so I looked for her.  I saw her slowly approach the store.  She looked as cold as ever.  ... Read Full Story >>

Sterling Performance For Your Eyes Only

There was once a skinny young boy who loved football. Practice after practice, he eagerly gave everything he had. But being half the size of the other boys, all his heart and effort couldn't make up for his physical shortcomings. At every game, this hopeful athlete sat on the bench and hardly ever got to play. However, the determined young man decided to hang in there.  He hoped that maybe his body would grow to match his heart and dedication.  All through high school, he never missed a practice nor game, but he remined a bench a bench warmer all four years.  His faithful father was always in the stands, always with words of encouragement for him . When the young man went to college, he decided to try out for the football team as a " walk on.".  Everyone doubted that he would make the team, but he did.  The coach ... Read Full Story >>

Giving Generosity Another Chance

Lately I had started to question why I still would readily help someone, since recently my attempts at generosity usually turned around to end up hurting me.  However, this concern recently vanished thanks to a very kind person. Last week, I was winding down a long day of train-hopping and dragging a few huge suitcases around with me to get home from visiting a friend's house.  I was rather peeved that I had to sit at the station for 4 hours for a bus that left at 10 p.m. While I was sitting there tired and frazzled, a woman asked me if I had some change that she could have for a ticket.  Without thinking, I said, "Oh sure! How much do you need?" and then mentally kicked myself.  But I reached for my that I had buried in one of my bags anyways and fished out a $5 bill.  When I ... Read Full Story >>

Good Deeds Don't Go Unnoticed

I work in a restaraunt that has a program working with ex con's and the homeless. There is a guy who started working with us as a dishtanker and he told me his story one day. He lived in Florida, (we're in Ohio now) and he received information that he owed child support on a 6 year old boy. Well this was news to his ears because he didn't even know he had a kid! He came to Ohio to to clear this matter up and took a DNA test that determined that the kid was his. He was PROMPTLY put in jail for owing over $19,000 in back child support. He stayed in jail for 9 months and when he was released he was homeless, jobless. Instead of giving up on his kid and going back to Florida where he had plenty of family and help, he stayed in Ohio and ... Read Full Story >>

Teaching Kids Spiritual Harmony

Aikido, translated as “the way of spiritual harmony”, is a Japanese martial art. While it is a powerful system of self defense, the greatest benefit of Aikido training is that it provides a means to better yourself and become a happier, more balanced person. There is a piece of calligraphy authored by Morihei Ueshiba, the founder of Aikido, that reads “True victory is victory over oneself”. This concept and Aikido itself is suitable for people of all ages. For the last year or so, I have had the privilege of being an assistant instructor for the “Kid's Self Mastery” classes at my dojo; helping to teach children ranging in age from 5 to 10 years old. The classes themselves consist mostly of games and exercises allowing the students to learn Aikido, teamwork, respect, kindness, and other skills in a way that's fun to them. They also have “Mat Chats” in which ... Read Full Story >>