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An Exercise In Compassion

I sometimes look out of my window with envy at the parade of bicyclists who ride past my apartment each morning on their daily commute into the city. I work from home, and getting exercise outside is not easy for me. Since I moved into this apartment, my bicycle has been in hibernation. I had been longing to get on it, but I have a market almost next door, so I find it difficult getting any riding in. One morning, though, I decided to commute to work just like the cyclists under my window. I planned to bike up the long hill to the bridge and coast back to start my day, a two mile loop. Eager to get out, I filled the rear tire with air, and pushed off into the street. I was so happy to be riding again! Right away, I raced past a bike-commuter, and beat ... Read Full Story >>

A Saturday Well Spent

Today my heart is full of joy and gratefulness for my family and for the beautiful people I encountered today.  My husband worked all night as a police volunteer and got home at 5.30 a.m. in the morning and then left at 4 p.m. this afternoon for another shift. My daughter spent the morning with some friends and neighbors raising money  for a very famous charity in our town and also helped one of her friend's dad raise money for a sponsored climb of a mountain in Morocco. And what did I do? Well, I bought some cakes for my daughter and her friend and gave a smile card to the gentleman that was selling the cakes, plus a card that said,  "May all your days be filled with Love." I went to the library and left the cards inside the magazines and books and on the shelves so people could find them. I ... Read Full Story >>

Mocha for Me

I live on a very busy street and the morning commute can sometimes be almost unbearable. 

One morning, I let a car out of a side street and proceeded on my way to my favorite drive thru coffee shop.  When it was my turn I ordered my mocha and as I went to pay she told me that the car in front of me had paid for me because I had let them out in traffic and they noticed I had gone to the same coffee place that they had!!! 

Now that inspired me to do likewise and occassionally that is what I do---pay it forward!!!   A small kindness like letting someone out in traffic can make someone's day!   And the bonus this time was a mocha!! Totally unexpected blessing!  It works both ways!

Three Strings of Itzhak Perlman

Perlman, the violinist, came on stage to give a concert at Avery Fisher Hall at Lincoln Center in New York City. If you have ever been to a Perlman concert, you know that getting on stage is no small achievement for him. He was stricken with polio as a child, and so he has braces on both legs and walks with the aid of two crutches. To see him walk across the stage one step at a time, painfully and slowly, is an awesome sight. He walks painfully, yet majestically, until he reaches his chair. Then he sits down, slowly, puts his crutches on the floor, undoes the clasps on his legs, tucks one foot back and extends the other foot forward. Then he bends down and picks up the violin, puts it under his chin, nods to the conductor and proceeds to play. By now, the audience is used to this ... Read Full Story >>

Hawaiian Gratuity for a Special Waitress

After I married, we honeymooned in Hawaii. Both of us enjoyed our ten day stay-- the islands are gorgeous, the people loving, gracious and spiritual, the sunrises/sunsets one more spectacular then the next, the rainbows miraculously appearing each afternoon after a brief rain and the flowers so brightyly colored and diverse. What a paradise!  We returned to one restaurant several times in Maui because I loved the buffet, the service, the outdoor tables where I could feed the birds, the ocean view and it was close to our hotel.  I befriended a waitress who symbolized the Hawaiin people to me:  she was plump, middle-aged, super friendly, greeting us each time with a huge, warm smile, twinkling eyes, a deep booming laugh and a hug. She was quite chatty and so am I so we bonded instantly.  She shared some of her life stories with us, which was so sad: hubby ... Read Full Story >>

For My Birthday - 50 Smiles in 50 Days for 50 Years of Joy

I turn 50 in December, so for 50 days leading up to the day, I have recruited 50 friends (it's really up to 70) to spread smiles, share happiness and promote love by performing an act of kindness each day! I created cards for them to share, in the hopes that the recipient will pay it forward! 2500 acts (or more) to celebrate 50 years of happiness and joy. We are only on day three and I am already blown away by the joy we are spreading! #50smilesin50days https://www.facebook.com/groups/50smilesin50days/

Random Act of Consciousness

Just before Christmas of 2007, almost exactly a year ago, I steered into a Starbucks drive-thru line for a cup of tea on my way to teach a morning tai chi lesson. There were a few cars in line, and I got in behind them. When my turn came I gave my order at the billboard menu and moved up as far as I could while waiting patiently for the cars in front of me to get through the cashier line. While the South Florida weather would probably would have felt tropical to much of the rest of the country, I was a bit chilled and was looking forward to my hot drink. The fellow in the SUV behind me reached the menu. Dissatisfied with the alignment between his mouth and the microphone, he laid on his horn, leaned out his window, yelled an insult and exhorted me to move up. ... Read Full Story >>

What She Needed Most, Was Kindness Toward Herself

I did a HUGE kindness to me tonight. And this one, for me personally, is HUGE! I gave myself a gift. I called in to work. A job I love. A job I have never resented going to or called in "sick" too. A job I adore. That job. Well tonight, 20 minutes before my shift was due to begin, I called in to say that I wasn't able to do my shift. Actually I was way more upfront and honest than this. I explained I wasn't "sick" and was quite perfectly able to do my shift physically, but that right now, I wasn't in a good state emotionally. Huge. Huge because I never admit this. Huge because I was extremely vulnerable and honest. And huge because even when I did call I knew I was taking a huge risk. They could say no its not ok and I'd have to show up even more ... Read Full Story >>

Listening to the little voice within

A friend's mother recently told me how she has been going through some hard times lately. She knows I practice a feminine yoga called "tigress" and often asks about it. I told her about an upcoming trial taster class. She told me that if finances permit, she would attend.

So tonight as I was thinking about her and about Tigress yoga, I heard a voice in my head say, "Pay for her Nicole." And so I did!  

I told her I would love to pay for her class and asked her if it were ok. To which she instantly replied, "Yes!" I love a woman who can so easily and graciously receive as I was nervous asking because I don't know her too well.  

Spreading Smiles On a Father-Daughter Date Night!

At least once a month one of my little kindness kids Rachel and I try to have a father/daughter date night. Last night we were out for dinner together after doing some fun things. We talked about some of her kindness activities she did at school for their 100 Acts of Kindness challenge her class had. It was great to listen to the little things she and her classmates did to spread kindness. Many times on our date nights we try to do an act of kindness of our own, as she is often my sidekick on our kindness adventures. My latest Smile Deck card is one about anonymously buying a stranger's meal so I asked Rachel if we should find someone in the restaurant and buy their dinner. She loved the idea so we chose an older couple sitting behind us. I had a few Smile Cards on me (as always!) ... Read Full Story >>

My Late Husband's Gifts Are Regenerating Smiles All Over Town

I haven't been here in a while but I wanted to share what I've been practicing lately. Six months ago my husband died of ALS. There was no dignity involved, and though he was a kind person at his core, the disease broke him to the point that he self medicated and became someone none of his loved ones recognized. So two years of a very difficult situation, and after he died, most of our mutual friends disappeared. Then people I thought were my friends started telling me how I should grieve, what I should and shouldn't talk about, how I should behave. I wasn't doing or saying anything crazy; I was just grieving in what I thought was a pretty typical fashion. So I'm starting over at 54 in more ways than one. Who ever thinks this will actually happen? I sure didn't, but luckily I'm flexible and adaptable and ... Read Full Story >>

More Than A Munchie Box For Her Birthday

We were sitting on the bus and the guy behind us was on the phone. After a "business" call he phoned his sweetheart. He explained that some money he was due wouldn't be paid in one lump but that they would get it even if they had to wait a while longer. It didn't sound hopeful. She must have asked what he wanted for dinner and he replied that the last thing he wanted her doing on her birthday was cooking. I got the impression her birthday had been a poor affair. I don't know if he'd got her a gift but her not cooking seemed important to him, as if it as all he had to give. So he suggested he picked up a take-away and said he knew a place that did a "munchie box" for a very reasonable price. For "reasonable" I heard "cheap." Then she must have explained ... Read Full Story >>

Roundtable Dinners

A very close friend of mine has two older parents who have been very sick and in the hospital. Her Mom has alzheimers and her Dad has diabetes and just had surgery on his legs. She was able to make arrangements for them to come to her house when they left the hospital, but this is now an additional responsibility for her in addition to her own family.

A bunch of us (9 friends) got together and came up with a calendar of dates for us to take turns making dinner and delivering it to her house. (Thank goodness for email!) It'll be one less thing she will have to worry about while she establishes a routine and things settle down for her. This way she will know they are eating healthy foods and she can tend to her parents needs.  I'm so happy to be part of this effort.

MANY HANDS make LIGHT WORK.  If we all do our part, it's easy!

My Friend, Howie

Actually, he started out as my step-dad's best friend since they were 5 and 6 years old, respectively.  They grew up in New York City.  Howie's home life was not good, very troubled.  Still, he grew up to be a fine man, worked hard, married, and had two children.  His wife divorced him when the children were small and he kind of drifted through life, working, but no real focus. I was almost 6 when my mother and stepfather met (again) and decided to make a life together.  Howie said to my dad, "You are going to live with her (meaning my mother)?  She has a kid, the kid will be an anchor and slow you down." Howie would come over our house and eat dinner and spend time there.  I guess I kind of grew on him.  He taught me how to play checkers and we got along just fine.  At ... Read Full Story >>

The Cashier's Surprise

My son and I were grocery shopping. As usual at the checkout they had the usual fine display of chocolate temptations and other sweet goodies. 

Instead of asking for something my son whispered to me, "Let's ask the cashier if this chocolate is any good and then, as we're leaving, we can give it to him!" 

I smiled and watched the magic unfold.

The cashier chatted with us about all kinds of things. Then my son, very casually, asked about the chocolate. The guy said, "Oh, yeah. Those are really good!" And then, as we were walking away with our groceries, my son handed the chocolate to the cashier and said, "This is for you!" 

The guy was like, "Really? No! That's ok." But my son just smiled and said, "Yeah, really! It's for you!" 

And we both walked off, smiling broadly. 

Something To Sit On

We have five fantastic children.  As they've grown older, from high school to college and so on, we found ourselves cleaning out our home of furniture only to replace it with something new. We had this one living room set consisting of a sofa, loveseat and chair. It went through a couple of the kids, hauling it up the stairs to their third floor apartments and back down again to the next apartment. Our son was the last to have the set when he finally asked for a place to store it because he was going out of town for a semester.  We told him we would hold it for him in our garage.  So we picked the furniture up and brought it back to the house. One day, while at work, I heard a couple of people talking in the hallway.  A mother and her two children were kicked out of their ... Read Full Story >>

Sharing Water In The Nature Park

I took a long walk in the local nature park this morning. I do that most mornings. It really makes a great start to the day! I usually walk up this nice long road that goes back into the woods. It's so quiet and pleasant and there are so many green trees. 

When Kindness Happens Just Where It's Supposed To

I wanted to use one of my Smile Cards today, so I went to the bank and withdrew $20. I went out on my lunch break, and walked around looking out for someone to give the money and the Smile Card to. I spotted a couple of people who I thought about giving it to but then I remembered that the Smile Card says to do it anonymously. So I decided to find a way to give away the $20 without the person knowing where it came from. I got in my car and drove to the mall and walked around praying for God to show me what to do. As I walked passed a dollar store I saw five pay phones by it. I took the $20 and neatly wrapped it around the Smile Card. I left if by the first pay phone and prayed that someone who really needed ... Read Full Story >>

Kindness Blooms at the Airport

Last weekend at the airport, I had some extra time before going through security to catch my flight. While wondering what to do, I decided it was the perfect time and place to look for an anonymous act of kindness to do! One of the magazine stands outside security had flowers for sale. I told the clerk that I'd like to buy flowers for someone else, and she could decide who to give them to. She looked a little confused, so I suggested perhaps she could give them to someone who looked like they could use some cheering up, and then hand them the smile card with the flowers. At first, the clerk responded, That's weird." (Or maybe, "That's crazy," I can't remember which.) But then, I explained a little more about smile cards and the concept of doing something kind for a complete stranger, and she brightened up. "I'll never know how it turns out," I said, "but you will have the opportunity ... Read Full Story >>

Everyone's Using Smile Cards

My sister and her family were visiting from Mexico last week.  Naturally, I took the chance to introduce them to as many beautiful things as I could - including Smile Cards!  When we were about to cross the toll both at San Francisco's Bay Bridge I thought it might be the best time to explain the pay-it-forward idea. So I pulled up to the toll booth, paid our $6 fare, and said, "This is another $6 for the car behind us. Can you give 'em this Smile Card to pay forward?"  Anyone who has done this knows that it gives you a joyous high.   All of a sudden the car driver who is visible in your rear view mirror becomes a part of you in some unexplicable way. But today, the experience went even further!  The toll booth attendant said, "You know, everybody seems to using these cards. We get them a lot ... Read Full Story >>