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Lessons Learned from Lavender Lilacs

I  was strolling by some lavender colored lilacs which were clustered alongside the sidewalk yesterday on the way to catch a ride with my neighbor who was joining me for a community dinner gathering. The quiet and soft movement of the little flowers as they danced in the breeze just made me pause for a moment. I looked at them swaying in the breeze as if they were alive and happy. I thought about how it would feel to make another human being alive and happy like those lilacs...  It was Mother's Day and although I was many continents away from my mother, I thought about my neighbor, who is a mother too. In fact, a mother of two. In addition to wanting to express my thanks to her for giving me a ride to the upcoming evening gathering, I scrambled back home with my new idea unfolding in my ... Read Full Story >>

A Powerful Tool

One of my next-door neighbors is a sweet and frail-looking grandmotherly 92-year-old Polish lady who lives with three cats. She is a Holocaust survivor (and with due respect does not talk about that traumatic time), and has a daughter and grand-daughter who visit her every week.  She oftentimes brings us cherry tomatoes, comes over for chai, loves mangoes, and is in general a very sweet person. A few months ago, my friend and I drove down to LA to attend a dear friend's wedding, and came back home to the Bay Area the next evening.  As I was unpacking my clothes in my room, I heard a persistent, frantic knock on the door.  It was 10:30pm, and I wasn't sure who it could be.  I went downstairs and looked through the peephole, and saw that it was our sweet next-door neighbor. I quickly opened the door, and she seemed really distressed and kept ... Read Full Story >>

The Frail Elderly Lady On The Other Side Of The Door

I instruct an exercise class at a retirement home every Tuesday afternoon. There is one resident who is no longer able to attend the class because she is becoming so frail. She has had several falls. We have had an agreement between us that I would still knock on her door to invite her to class but instead of an invite I give what she calls a 'wee cuddle'. I have been doing this since about March. Today there was a sign on her door saying she had a fall and was unable to use her walker and must use a wheelchair. I did not knock because she often is napping at the time I make my rounds to gather up folks for the class. After class she was just coming out of the elevator for the social hour. One whole side of her face is badly bruised, cuts around her ... Read Full Story >>

A Nursing Home "Gardener"

My daughter reminded me yesterday of a story that happened several years ago. I worked in a nursing home for several years and had kind of adopted one wing, where the residents had few guests/visitors, and stayed manily in their rooms or in the hallway outside there rooms. I went down on my breaks just to check in, to see if anyone needed or wanted a bit of extra TLC.  I gave them "flower" nicknames so I could share some of there stories with my kids without revealing there identities. The residents all knew I had nicknames for them. I called them my own private garden. One day I happened to overhear one of them say,  "I wonder if dandelion is coming today?"  "Of course, she always comes answered another."  I admit I wondered why they named me after a weed.  A few months after overhearing this one of my special ... Read Full Story >>

The Invisible Woman

When I had breast cancer I had to have a lumpectomy, chemo and radiation (the works). The hardest part of that entire experience was losing my hair. I have strawberry blonde wavy hair down to the middle of my back which I have always considered one of my most attractive features. What was hard about losing my hair, though, was that I lost my anonymity with it. After I lost my hair it was like having a tattoo across my forehead that said "chemo patient." I am a very active, athletic person so to have people looking at me with pity as if I was an invalid or a leper was very hard to take. Of course they never said anything, but if I got in an elevator everyone looked away because they didn't know what to say. I didn't blame them, God knows I've done the same thing myself, but ... Read Full Story >>

Helping A Mom Get To Her Destination.

This PM while I was waiting for the Pre-K parents to come visit the Kindergarten classes a young mother came into the school office. She took the bus but got off at the wrong stop and the school building - she needed to go to  Head Start, about two miles away. She was carrying a baby and she had a 3 year old with her too. She was asking for directions on how to get to the other place on foot, Today was a cold blustery day and I could not see her walking that far with her children. The afternoon parents were not showing up and it was already well past the time they needed to be there, so I told this mom I would give her a ride. My colleague who was helping me during the afternoon session, volunteered to take this mom herself in case parents would still show ... Read Full Story >>

Feeding the homeless with my daughters

I am so appreciating my daughters today and all that we learned while we were growing TOGETHER. I am especially grateful for the activities that revolved around kindness and brought joy to us at the same time. At one time we decided to bake bread for the homeless community on the beach near our home. We took 2 days during each week to bake mini loaves of bread and also took cheese of each person. As this project went on (eventually for more than two years) one of my daughters started having short conversations with each person she gave bread to. Eventually we brought some playing cards and checkers and played with some of the people, too. Soon several of our friends got involved and we began to make full lunches once a week for this community. Years later when I would see one of the previous free lunch recipients, they would come ... Read Full Story >>

I See You

She sat in my class. A teenage girl. All the girls had grouped their desks but hers sat in isolation. I reformed groups and ensured that she never sat alone. I encouraged group ethos and it worked well. In this country, girls love to bring flowers and gifts for each other. Not Amani though. She had no friends to either give to or receive from. She has special needs and her communication level is low especially in English (I am teaching in the Middle East). Watching her face and it's lack of emotion pulled so hard at my heartstrings. Seeing her walk about alone during recreation was painful for me. What could I do? I couldn't be her classmate, I was her teacher. Despite this, I had to reach out. On the last day before school broke up at the end of term I brought a gift for Amani. It was a very generous gift ... Read Full Story >>

It Started With A New Coat For A Homeless Man

It started 4 years ago. My wife would see a homeless man near where she works. It was the week before Christmas and she said she wanted to buy him a new coat. His was torn and very old. We don't have a lot of money; really we are a step away from being homeless ourselves most months but we try to help when we can. We talked and found a way to get some money together to buy him a coat. I thought since we are giving him a coat let's look at what else he might need. We brainstormed and decided to fill a backpack with useful things, a toothbrush, soap, wash clothes, a hat, gloves, deodorant, razor, some food, etc. and a small gift and Christmas card. A few days later, a check came in the mail. It was completely unexpected. A merchandising company I work for was sued ... Read Full Story >>

Scouts Honor on a Full Flight

My 9-year-old daughter and I were flying from our home in Charlotte, North Carolina, to spend a week with my husband in Miami, Florida. Mike had been in Florida for five months working for an internet start-up company. We were excited about the trip because we had seen him only five times in five months, and Kallie missed her Dad terribly. As usual on the Charlotte-to-Miami flight, the plane was totally full. I had noticed a troop of Boy Scouts at the gate and commented to my daughter that if anything happened, we would be OK with all those Scouts on our flight! Little did I know.... Because we did not get our boarding passes until we arrived at the gate, Kallie and I could not get seats together and were separated by the aisle. That wasn't such a big deal, except that Kallie was nervous about the trip and had counted ... Read Full Story >>

Getting Out What We Put Into The World

Since I have come to any kind of spiritual maturity I have believed we get out of this world what we put into it (... and then some!) Usually, the rewards are indirect and sometimes hard to recognise, but every once in a while what you give comes back to you there and then! A couple of days back my step-son, Josh, was preparing for a big event. Children from his primary school were going for their first trial day at the secondary school, so they would know what to expect when they started after the summer holidays. A big day for an eleven year old lad! I was in the middle of some stuff when I noticed him searching in a clay pot where we keep pens and pencils. In primary school they use pencils, but secondary kids get to write with pens. And Josh was looking for a pen. He came out with ... Read Full Story >>

Kindness Adventures On Our Block

I spend a lot of time at home, so there are many opportunities to interact with our great neighbors.

Today, I got a phone call from an older neighbor who lost her balance while bending over her little dog's water bowl and had fallen down.  I immediately ran over to her house with a cold gel-pack in hand! Then, I stayed a while, took some cute pictures of her pup with my cell phone, saw that she was okay, and returned home.  

She just called again to tell me not to worry, she is okay.

Upon returning home from her house, just as I was closing my door, I saw another neighbor (who is also a senior) climbing up a small ladder to hang something in her tree.  The ladder looked precariously perched, so I ran over to check on her. She thanked me, but refused my help. I told her I would stay next to her, just in case. :)

Both these women live alone and are very independent. They are a huge inspiration!

A 5K Run Becomes An Exercise In Compassion

Sometimes the people who are noticed the least can do the most to lift us up... On Thanksgiving morning I got up early to run in the local 5K run. I figured it might give me the motivation to get back into running.  It was nearly freezing that morning so everyone getting ready to run was hopping around trying to stay warm.   On the side of the road, sitting in the grass, was a man wrapped in a blanket.  It was pretty obvious he was homeless and as usual, most people pretended not to see him.  I went over and talked with him for a few minutes before the race.  In the midst of the idle chit-chat, he told me that he was a veteran and had hoped he might be able to earn a few dollars that morning to be able to go buy a Thanksgiving dinner.  He had a glimmer of ... Read Full Story >>

"You Raised A Wonderful Child, Mom."

I feel like I am always either at school, sports practice or a game, so I have to find different ways to do little acts of kindness.     My good friend and co-worker has a mom dealing with cancer who is living with her during treatment. I decided to send this mom - whom I've never met - a card thanking her for raising such a wonderful person. I told how her daughter was such being a good listener, someone who I can share my troubles with, and someone who makes me laugh.   I was a little uneasy about it afterwards and wondered if my friend would think it strange.     Tonight while sitting at basketball practice I received a text from my friend. She wanted to tell me that the card I sent her mom was one of the most beautiful things she had ever read and how lucky she was to ... Read Full Story >>

The Girl Student Sitting at the Back of the Classroom

I still will never forget a girl student sitting at the back of the classroom. Having failed the college entrance exams and changed schools two times, she couldn’t smile naturally. Every day she would sit at the desk, staring into textbooks and exercises, motionless and heavy-hearted. The desperate loneliness she radiated almost stopped me from teaching. Of course, she had no friends in this fiercely competitive class. Every time I stepped into the classroom, I welcomed everyone. Of course, when I said something to her casually, she reluctantly answered with a stiff, shaky, and sheepish smile. Life is harder for senior students. Hardly does a day go by without endless exercises or tests. Every time when the scores came out, her score wouldn't be the first or second but last. Dark clouds always flashed in her eyes. When I invited her to the teacher's office, we never talked about studies or ... Read Full Story >>

Door Notes

About a month ago, one morning, I awoke to find a note on my door. It read, "Don't worry. You were born awesome, not perfect."

I was going through a bit of a transition at that time and those words meant, and still do mean, a tremendous amount to me on so many levels.

To this day, I have been unable to find out who posted that for me. So, today, I thought I'd return the favor.

Stocked with little notes reading, "Be yourself," "You belong," "You're special," and "You are loved," I drove around various neighborhoods, posting them on random doors.

I trust that the Universe had me place them exactly where they needed to be.

Secret Santa with a Difference

This will be the second year at our company when we do a Secret Santa exchange that makes a difference.

As with the usual gift exchange we all pull a name out of a hat and purchase a gift for that individual. The difference is that we envision our recipient as a child & choose a gift the child would enjoy. After we have all opened our gifts & gotten a good laugh, we collect up the toys and take them to one of the many Christmas toy drives in our city.

This is such a great way to have some fun together & make a difference in the lives of needy children during Christmas.

Reflections from a Giver

While driving, today I passed a man holding a sign, begging for donations. I had two dollars in my wallet. I decided I wasn't going to give because money is so tight right now. Then, it felt wrong of me not to give, so I decided to give him half of what I had. I rolled down my window and handed him one dollar. He said, "God Bless You!" and I said, "You too." It was not a full exchange. As I drove away, I wished I spoken more to him, and I wished I had given him all that I had, but instead I was too afraid to give more of myself. Driving home I wondered if I had neglected a powerful universal law, the law of giving from my heart instead of my head, a law that perhaps creates boomerangs of abundance?! By not giving it all from my heart, perhaps ... Read Full Story >>

A Tale of The Missing Flowers

I allowed myself to receive. These flowers were gifted to me by our local florist. I had placed an order with him for flowers to be delivered to a dear friend overseas. For reasons unknown to both my florist and myself, the flowers were never delivered and after multiple contacts with the overseas supplier, who kept saying "tomorrow" for days on end (with no explanation!) we canceled the order. My florist called to apologize and said he wanted to send me a bouquet of flowers to make up for the mishap. Even tho I assured him it wasn't his fault & that he didn't have any control over the mishandling of my order, he insisted he wanted to send me flowers. We went back and forth on this & finally I realized this was something that would make him feel better and that I should just say thank you and let him ... Read Full Story >>

An Extra Step on a New England Hiking Trail

Hiking today with the wags and a friend provided yet another opportunity to move out of my comfort zone and connect. Cold with a mixture of sun and snow encouraged a quicker step than usual on the mountain. On the descent, we came across a large troop of boy scouts and their families heading down as well. The trail and people bottle-necked for a few moments before the majority of the troop was well ahead and out of sight. Left behind were a young boy and his mother who seemed unsteady and unsure on the trail. We slowed our pace for a bit to talk with them before eventually passing them. They caught up again when my friend paused to tie her shoe. The boy at that moment slipped and tumbled forward. My friend attempting to catch him as he rolled down the trail. Helping him up he was nervous, crying in his ... Read Full Story >>